When I look back at myself
I’m afraid to tell you what I see
For my heart is scarred
And my soul is very angry.
You couldn’t understand my past
Where could I begin to say?
My very greatest fear, though
Is that you might catch on someday.
I don’t want to let you in
Though I’m tired of being alone
My pain’s too real, too ugly, too large
It scares friends away, experience has shown.
Even worse than losing you
[I’ve steeled myself against that]
I can’t stand to be your special case
I have to take care of my own shit.
I seem okay most of the time
Just don’t hunt for the truth
My (un)conscious is an angry place
Examination tightens the noose.
I would give anything for adventure if you would give everything for love.
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