Hearts Aren't Toys

Pencil on sketchpad paper.

This piece is a stream-of-consciousness. The original (see drawing above) was written every which way. The order in which it has been typed up (see below) was chosen as I was typing; it was not intended to be in that order when the piece was created. Anything in quotation marks is from a song or movie. Bolded sections are tidbits of writing that I particularly like and might use in future pieces. Like most of my pieces, it was for my own self-expression and coping, not to impress anyone else.

please take me home
i pray only to the universe
"i'm looking to the sky to save me"
if anything listens it's the bottle and pills
i'm not laying it out for you anymore
put the pieces together yourself

i've been naked and alone forever
you can't set me on fire - i'm already burning
i dare you to follow the wheel to the end
pick up my heart from under [the truck]
baptise me with pencil smudges
use the ashes to wash me clean

take a step towards freedom
"my dreams aren't as empty as my conscious seems to be"
a woman's fingerprints on the moon
a lonely stretch of mystery between here and the home i only dream
hold you as if i'll never let go
cherish this moment as you know it's the last

"no one bites back as hard on their anger"
don't forget to breathe
if it makes you sick
it sickens someone else too
there's a fine line between hope and stupidity
i would chew through my own skin to get free

"confused, half-blind, and sure i'm right"
"i turned it up until it sounded true"
really i'm so tired of bleeding for the absence of you
write a book on the philosophy of pain
i would give anything
but there's nothing you can take

"as far as i can see these are all free people
with their own conscience to answer to"
but who's to say what would happen
i want to believe
"nothing lasts but nothing is lost"

guitars and piers
cowboy coffee and freight trains
you can't tell love from chains
at least i know i'm alive
"just because your dreams have died
don't drag me down i've still got mine"

"waiting for the day that never comes"
i'm not waiting anymore
i would drop anything for adventure
if you would drop everything for love
i wish you were here to see the sun rise
but all you saw was the concrete wasteland below

romanticization, bass beat, and morning aftertaste
"i was too cold to cry when i woke up alone"
but that doesn't mean i'm going home with you.