Away

Sleep the days away
So I don't have to feel
Wash memories away with wine
But everything makes me think of you.

I hear the neighbours scream at each other
But I burrow into my sweater and
Will consciousness away.

Tears for breakfast, tears before bed
Terror and confusion in my dreams
Stare blankly at the ringing phone
I know it'll never be you again.

Mechanical eating, meaningless smiles
Can't wait to retreat, to cry again
Awkward and frozen, don't know what to say
How to make them understand
My ravaged heart, empty futility
Without crashing their party and bringing them down.

Curled into myself, desperately alone
Yet I can't stand almost anyone
Irritated, barraged, with nothing to say
I just wish that you were here
That you never went away.