Something Real

The following is a stream-of-consciousness coping piece. Parts of it are used in later works. 

Built it up, paper structures
Another one slipped through the cracks
of a tenuous grip on reality with
a jaunty smile, a moment's glow, a deep-rooted lie
Slippery and deceiving as glass, that facade
A cloak, a force field, ice locked on the river -

Did you panic...fight...claw...gasp
Was it violent
Did it hurt

Or did you relax, let it take you
Drift away with a smile on your face
Were you numb
Were you finally
at peace
As it seeped and swept, enveloping
An icy embrace
Something you could feel...

Were you confident
for the first time in months
that it was something real?